battle of the sexes

It's the age old question...CAN men and women really be friends? According to Harry Burns (a/k/a Billy Crystal in "When Harry Met Sally"), it's just not possible because "the sex part" always gets in the way...in other words, the man always wants to sleep with the woman. While this may or may not be true, it doesn't explain why the trouble with male/female friendships seems to start at such an early age. My son has attended the same day care since he was an infant, and has been with many of the same children every day for the past three years. Until recently, he seemed to get along with the boys and the girls equally...if anything, some of his favorite friends were girls. But as soon as he entered the pre-school class, the gender division was obvious. The mini Mean Girls have their own table at lunch, exclude the boys from their games, and tell them "you're not my friend" on a regular basis. When Gage first entered the classroom, he seemed oblivious to this choosing of sides and often sat at the girls' table at breakfast, to their dismay. But apparently he has now been indoctrinated. Today we had the following exchange about Avery, a precious little girl who has been in Gage's class since he was a toddler...

Gage: Avery isn't my friend.

Mom: But I thought you liked Avery.

Gage: I used to like her when she was a little boy (??) but now she's a little girl so she's not my friend.

Mom: Did Avery do something to upset you?

Gage: No, she's just a girl.

Now, I guess this shouldn't come as a complete surpise to me. As anyone who has young children will tell you, girls and boys are different with a capital "D" from the get-go. Yes, I realize there was a time when "gender neutral parenting" was all the rage...remember when they wanted us to treat boy and girl children the same, give the boys dolls and the girls trucks, and dress them all in sexless demin overalls with the idea that this would eliminate gender differences? But the idea soon fell into disfavor, and all that really came of it was a generation of unhappy boys and girls with bad fashion sense. Yes, boys and girls are different, and apparently they are well aware of it by the time they enter pre-school. But evidently there are exceptions...

Mom: But what about Lindsey? She's a girl and you like her...

Gage: But I'm going to marry Lindsey so that's ok.

And there you have it.